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Leaning Into Fear

I’m here today to share a story of shrinking, and expansion; of self-sabotage and learning to lean into fear to honor the commitments we’ve made to our soul.

See, in the past, I’ve had a pattern of self-sabotaging my efforts by not following through and leaving things unfinished. I would have this great idea, a burst of inspiration, and get really excited. I would go all in out of the gate, expand quickly, and then my energy would quickly fizzle out and the project would end up abandoned. I’ve repeated this pattern more times than I can count. 

Last November, sitting inside a coffee shop on a snowy day, I had a burst of inspiration to create a guided journal focused on helping people cultivate lives filled with joy and gratitude. I followed the inspiration and I wrote almost the entire thing in a week. 

But then the fizzle started... I got to the part that seemed harder. And I wasn’t sure how to do it because I hadn’t done it before. My brain was thinking about challenges three steps ahead of where I was and my fear voice was piping up loud and clear “Who do you think you are? This is ridiculous. It will never be good enough anyways. Nothing you do ever will. No one is going to like it.” And on and on it went. That fear voice can really be a bully. 

And once again, predictably, the shrink happened. The enthusiasm that I had felt as a result of that initial burst of inspiration fizzled. I shelved the project. I abandoned it in its almost-but-not-completely finished state. I walked away. 

As I was reflecting on 2017 and preparing for 2018, I knew without a doubt that my word for the year this year was INTENTION. No more dancing between expanding and shrinking. No more letting the fear voice run the show. Intention means starting AND finishing what I set out to do; it means expansion at a rate that doesn’t spook the elephant (emotional brain) and send me running for safety and shrinking. 

I knew that when fear tried to send me spiraling about challenges three steps ahead, I would have to refocus my attention on the very next right step. One step at a time. Slow and steady.

And I knew that honoring my commitment to myself and truly expanding meant finishing this project before I allowed myself to get swept up in the excitement and enthusiasm of any new ideas. So I did. Silencing the fear voice along the way, one step at a time, I completed the project. 

I didn’t know what I was doing when I started but I learned along the way. And isn’t that kind of the point of expansion and growth anyways? Not to have all the answers but to grow into the person whose experiences have brought with them a certain wisdom. 

And here we are! I ordered the final proof of my journal today and it will be available for sale on Amazon on 2/27/2018. I have a kick-ass book launch team of over 50 amazing women. I still don’t really know what I’m doing, but I’m learning. I’m leaning in and I’m growing and expanding every day. And I’m so incredibly grateful for that.

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For more resources on journaling, check out Journaling 101, which includes a free PDF of Align with Joy or purchase Align With Joy here

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