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Fear

Fun fact: I was *supposed* to be a pole vaulter in college. I had been recruited, I made the commitment, and then the night before practice began, I quit.

I was terrified. I was so scared that I wouldn’t live up to expectations - my own or anyone else’s - that I didn’t even let myself try. 

I try not to have regrets. I truly believe that there is no point in regret because every single experience has helped us get to where we need to be in our lives. But if I had to choose one thing to do differently given the chance, this is what I come back to every single time. I hate it that when I got scared, I gave up on my dreams and myself instead of seeing how far I could go. I hate that I let my fear stop me from something that I desperately wanted. 

Since then, I’ve grown so much. I don’t let fear hold me back anymore. Which isn’t to say that I don’t feel fear... I do. But my relationship to fear has completely shifted and that has...

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Leaning Into Fear

I’m here today to share a story of shrinking, and expansion; of self-sabotage and learning to lean into fear to honor the commitments we’ve made to our soul.

See, in the past, I’ve had a pattern of self-sabotaging my efforts by not following through and leaving things unfinished. I would have this great idea, a burst of inspiration, and get really excited. I would go all in out of the gate, expand quickly, and then my energy would quickly fizzle out and the project would end up abandoned. I’ve repeated this pattern more times than I can count. 

Last November, sitting inside a coffee shop on a snowy day, I had a burst of inspiration to create a guided journal focused on helping people cultivate lives filled with joy and gratitude. I followed the inspiration and I wrote almost the entire thing in a week. 

But then the fizzle started... I got to the part that seemed harder. And I wasn’t sure how to do it because I hadn’t done it before. My...

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